The Big Three

It's officially been three years since Joey's transplant. How that is possible, I cannot say, but here we are. All three of us. 

In my last post, I shared about IVF and our pregnancy and how it was related to the transplant story... in the sense that we couldn't easily pursue parenthood in the midst of liver failure. In the 2 year anniversary post, I shared what I could remember about the immediate aftermath of the successful surgery and I'm hoping to document a bit more about the month that followed.

It was always the plan to have Lauren come out and stay with us post-transplant (she was our designated positive spirit after all). I spent my days at the hospital with Joey and my nights at home with Lauren until February 9th when Joey was discharged and I could spend my days and nights with both of them!

Joey sent us a series of texts that said, "bring your masks bring your masks bring your notes bring your best attitudes" before we picked him up from the hospital. Yes, he said "bring your masks" twice.

Here's what comes to mind when I think about February 2022- 

• attempting to dye my hair green since I'd be off work for a while and therefore my boss couldn't complain
• reorganizing the pantry (Lauren did 99% of this)
• rearranging the furniture in the room Joey would be recovering in (Lauren did a lot of this too)
• going to Best Buy to get Lauren's phone battery replaced
• Jaclyn updating Joey's quillow (and also prepping a ton of meals for us)
• laughing so uncontrollably at Katy Perry's "When I'm Gone" SNL performance that hospital staff came into the room to check on us
• Joey watching Soul and having a truly emotional experience (seems like a risky move to watch this after a life-saving surgery and being on tons of drugs, but you do you, boo)
• Joey also watched Annie, Cruella, and Wonder Woman 1984 while in the hospital
• getting beat up by Lauren as part of her martial arts prep
• watching Coco for the first time (another risky choice considering all the heavy stuff we'd just been through, but it was lovely)
• falling asleep to The Great Pottery Throw Down
• having a milk flight (oat, soy, almond, 1% organic cow, skim cow, and buttermilk)
• having a mustard flight (yellow, Dijon, spicy brown, and Manny's horseradish)
• eating exclusively homecooked meals
• going back to the hospital every few days for appointments and med updates
• meeting in home care nurses and therapists
• going to IKEA but leaving Joey in the car and secretly getting something for Iris that wasn't on the list

Jaclyn and the first Katie* created this quillow for Joey in college and it had developed some tears over the years. Jaclyn and the second Katie (me) gave it fresh life with Winnie the Pooh and Star Wars. Jaclyn did 99% of this. I helped pick the fabric.

We refer to this as Iris's cubicle. It was not on the list of things to purchase at IKEA but Lauren and I got it anyway and Iris loves it to this day so... no regrets.

Some of this was only possible because Lauren was here, but all of it was better because of her. She ended up being so much more than the positive spirit. She was our resident cook (and created a cookbook for us of our favorite meals from that time), substitute host (we had planned on having Jaclyn visit before we got the transplant call and instead of canceling since we'd be busy at the hospital, Jaclyn came anyway and spent most of her time working alongside Lauren prepping things at the house for us), and interior designer all while remotely maintaining her own work responsibilities.

You know the most beautiful thing about all of this? We got along the whole time. This isn't really surprising to us, but it can be unusual for siblings / in-laws to live together (we literally slept in the same room) for a month straight and not want to hurt each other. Lauren and Joey actually have their own relationship outside of me- they originally met at a Bro-Sis dinner at Cedarville before Joey and I really knew each other. Anyway... while we got to enjoy her company for an entire month after Joey's transplant, everyone who usually gets to spend time with her had to suffer her absence. NOW YOU KNOW HOW WE FEEL ALL THE TIME. It stinks. 

The three of us in September 2011. This might be our first trio photo.

And this is us in September 2024.

Fast forward a few winters and Lauren is living with us once again.

The hope was that Lauren would be here with us for Lucy's birth and then spend her first week or so with us at home. Instead, Lauren spent two weeks hanging out with us while nothing happened. I mean, we did stuff like make pretzel cigarettes and laugh at Texas Roadhouse and try to organize baby things and make mom's Thanksgiving stuffing on our own and try to plan meals and binge watch TV (Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Ted Lasso, and Shrinking). The baby was simply not doing a thing to indicate an imminent arrival. And every night past the due date, we read about the next day's significant events in an effort to help me come to terms with a December baby. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

We were really excited about the idea of a Krampus baby, but we ended up with a Brownie. (The day was previously on my radar as the day my favorite Beatle was murdered, but brownies are good too.) 

Impressed by her fist formation.

Since we already had one life changing event under our belts with Lauren's help, it was only fitting that we have OG LJ help welcome little LJ to our trio. The two events share several similarities. We didn't have a specific date to plan on and had to wait for things to happen outside of our control. It involved several trips to Downtown Detroit. Her Moody coworkers were flexible and gracious again. Friends and family in Illinois were missing her. Both involved new life.

Here's the thing about Lauren: sometimes she is like Bingo Heeler, using her outside voice to say yes when her inside voice says no (classic Enneagram 2 behavior) and it's always to make things easier for other people. She's incredibly good at it (helping people, not ignoring her inside voice- she's getting better at that). 

Some classics from over the years.

Here's another thing about Lauren: When I told my family I was pregnant, they started calling the baby Lauren Jr. almost immediately and I got really attached to the LJ initials. Lucy shares the same first and middle initials as her Aunt Lauren and I hope that lil LJ ends up like big LJ in other ways too. I hope she finds an activity she enjoys and is disciplined in her pursuit of it (like Lauren with martial arts... and DND... and higher education...and going to concerts). I hope she challenges stereotypes and traditional views of women in ministry (like Lauren in her leadership roles). I hope she knows her friends well enough to surprise them with meaningful and funny gifts (like Lauren does, duh). 

I have so many hopes for my girl. And I'm so glad she has her aunt to look up to.

The LJs.

And now, a word from our spoonie: "Lauren has said her ten year plan is to live with us and so far we're making pretty good progress."

*Joey dated another Katie before he dated me. 🤷